Just Call
It’s a common experience that at a funeral, old friends and family get together, and before they part, everyone says it’s been too long, we should get together. We only see each other at funerals. Then everyone goes home, and they don’t see each other until the next funeral.
Don’s memorial service is several weeks away still, but for one reason or another, I’ve found myself contacting people. In some cases it was just to let them know about Don’s passing, but some of the people I called didn’t even know Don. It just seemed like a good time to get back in touch.
And here’s what I noticed. Good friends drift apart. Maybe there’s a bit of tension in the relationship, or maybe you just got busy. Then one day you pick up the phone, but now calling seems too difficult. Maybe they will be angry or hurt that you have been neglecting them. Or maybe they were glad you stopped calling — after all, they haven’t called you all this time either — and now they will be annoyed that you are edging back into their lives. Or maybe it will just be emotional or complicated or weird. Read more
New! Improved!
In honor of television pitchman Billy Mays, I have made some improvements (I hope) to the Cabin. It will now make your socks whiter! Your hard hat can be irrevocably glued to a piece of lumber! Your onions chopped instantly into perfect little cubes! Read more
Two weeks out
A couple of weeks out from Don’s departure, and I have to say that I wouldn’t take back my decision to be there at the end. I know he knew I was there, and that Ron was there, and what each of us was doing for him. He responded differently to each of us. I had most of the night before to hold his hand and tell him all the things I wanted to tell him. Read more
Five Remembrances
This has been one of the things sustaining me over the last few months of difficult changes and the loss of a dear friend. I understand it to be a Buddhist message, although I haven’t been able to identify for sure where it comes from. Read more
Departure
Don left us on Wednesday in the early afternoon. He was not in much pain, but the last few hours his lungs had become congested, which is common when the body is shutting itself down. His breathing was very labored, which must have been exhausting. Ron and I were with him, holding his hand and doing what we could. He couldn’t talk, but when he met my eyes I know he recognized me and understood the things I was saying to him. Read more
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